Bickering Children: How to Deal with Them
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Bickering Children: How to Deal with Them

It's never too late to modify your children's behavior. But it is not going to be a picnic. You missed the first six years of their lives to have accomplished what you now wish they learned without the anguish you are experiencing now.
                   bickering children

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"We have three children, aged ten, eight, and six. Sometimes they behave atrociously. They bicker with each other constantly. My husband and I work full time. I'm afraid we are not at home long enough everyday to supervise them. We do have somebody in charge of the house, but it seems she is not effective with the children. How can we improve our children's behavior? Is it too late?"

It's never too late to modify your children's behavior. But it is not going to be a picnic. You missed the first six years of their lives to have accomplished what you now wish they learned without the anguish you are experiencing now.

Children learn behavior from examples. Good or bad, they adopt a mode of action similar to what they have been exposed. Early on, your children must have copied their manners from someone in the household.

Try to investigate which member of the household became their prime model. If the person is still around, have a serious talk with him/her.

Start by saying: "We have been very unhappy with the way the children bicker with each other. Don't you think they are becoming very difficult to handle? Let us try the following strategy - we shall talk with them, then give them an incentive to try getting along with each other better...

Instead of focusing on their undesirable habits, plan out a scheme to give each one a daily checklist of desirable habits which they are to accomplish. Each child should have a chart to be posted on the wall of their bedroom and checked daily. Perfect scores merit rewards to be enjoyed during the weekend.

When drawing out the specific list, consider the age and ability of each child. Include areas which the youngsters need to reinforce.

Each family has its own routine and expectations. Call a family meeting and get ideas from the kids. They might even think it would be fun. Explain that it is time to get organized so that your home will be more pleasant to live in. Everybody needs to help.

Examples of good habits that may be considered are:

  • Daily shower, dressing up by oneself, brushing teeth, combing hair, tying shoe laces, polishing shoes, drinking milk, eating fruits, eating vegetables, giving up soft drinks, giving up candy, doing homework, keeping study desk/table/room neat and orderly, fixing clothes' closet, making own bed, using the bathroom tidily (dry floor, flush toilet, dry sink), changing beddings, putting soiled clothes into laundry bin/bag, dust furniture, watering the garden/potted plants, setting the table, taking used dishes from the table to the kitchen, walking the dog, sharing a toy with another child/sibling, waiting for turn to watch TV, etc.

Include other chores that would make your home neater and more organized. Make the children feel that you love each other and working together makes a happy family.

 

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Comments (1)

I actully found my two bickering children did not learn that behavior from role models, but acquired it from the selfishness of each of those children themselves. I most often removed the source of the bickering so there was no more stimuli. They slowly learned neither had what they wanted and determined to be silent about disagreeing and even gave into the other when they learned that would keep the item they bickered about. You have a viable option here. Promoted

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