How to Raise Polite Children
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How to Raise Polite Children

In a society where more couples are separating than ever and so many families whose parents are both working to be able to afford the high cost of living, inculcating manners requires a lot of patience, love and understanding. Furthermore, time constraints make it hard to rectify, restrict or reinforce children’s experiences as well as reactions. Guiding kids through the path of graciousness need not enrolling them in etiquette class, rather some practical approach may be employed with loving care to raise them as polite children

Hereunder are helpful tips which may guide young parents  in raising their children to become polite.  

Good communication with your kids.  Nothing can ever replace a two-way communication between a parent and a kid.  Certainly, you cannot be with your children twenty four (24) hours a day, seven (7) days a week, but you can find ways to give quality time to them.  It is during this moment that a more active approach to discuss on certain matters should happen such as, explicit rules at home and in school, limit on the use of boob tube-what and what not to watch, and limit on the child’s technological play, see  The importance of good communication between parents and a child  should begin early, as when the child reaches three years old.  The simple do’s and don’ts can already be conveyed in understandable way. 

Setting good example.  It is a must for parents to set ground rules by which they themselves abide.  They should mean whenever they say “no”, or “do this”,  or “don’t do that”, and they have to show to the kids that they follow the same norm.  Such is a better  approach to teach them to be polite.  Common practices of these norms include treating others with kindness and consideration.  Specific examples are: “Thank you”, “Please” and “You’re welcome”, among others.   Common courtesies, such as, writing thank-you notes for gifts, thoughtful letters to kins and friends and remembering birthdays, holidays and those hospitalized, are best taught to children even during their  primary years.  Be cautious of the words or phrases you use around them as they may easily mimic you.  

Have a meal together.  The traditional family meal should be something that everyone looks forward to because it teaches children about sharing  and communicating with others, taking turns, cooperating and the importance of family commitments. If it is dining that everyone commits to being together, then it is a special moment to share what each has experienced that day.  

Commend your child for being polite.  Praising your child for acts of kindness is a positive reinforcement helpful to a child’s learning.  Even a simple recognition from an adult helps reinforce a belief that they did the right thing.  This may include non-verbal forms, such as a hug,  a kiss, a wink, a smile and even a tap on the shoulder.  It brings a tremendous impact on the part of the child.

Set boundaries. Do not try to put your child on the defensive.  Rectify the behavior rather than the child.  Keep the correction from sounding like a put-down by referring back to family rules.   So, you may try reminding him or her, “We don’t use  language like that in this house”.   This is letting the child know  that he or she is displaying rude behavior, without demeaning him or her. 

No matter how much develop a country is, the good manners of the constituents are not only still expected but necessary.


Health & Home, March-April, 2001

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Comments (2)

great tips

Important advice. Thank you ViLuz. Hoping for your affection and support.