There are many reasons why a child will dislike school
It is important for a parent to get to the bottom of why his or her child dislikes school.
Why children don’t like school is a loaded topic with many possible answers. The ramifications of this dislike for school could last a few days to a lifetime. What is important is that a parent not over emphasis this particular period by running to the school principal with every reason under the sun. This will only reinforce the child’s dislike for school seeing that their parents also agree. Remember you are dealing with your child’s future, and a good education is a very big part of your child’s future.
On the other hand, if the child does not want to go to school and this protest has gone on for more than a few days there may be a bigger issue that the parents are not aware of.
Many times children do not outright admit that they dislike school or they are afraid of going to school. Instead they claim they are sick and they want to stay at home. Most of us have faked being sick to stay home from school for a day or two but when this sickness occurs frequently, several times a month there may be a bigger problem at play.
Psychological stressors can actually manifest themselves into physical symptoms and children, especially younger children will complain of headaches stomach cramps, and they may even display nausea and vomiting. Children may have problem sleeping.
Reasons for not liking school
There are many reasons and each child is individual and will have his or her own unique reasons but some of the most common reasons for not liking school are as follows:
Lack of sleep
Children who do not get to bed at a decent hour often wake up tired and go to school that way. They are not as mentally alert as they could be when they have a good night’s sleep and they may be prone to making mistakes in their schoolwork. They may be slow at thinking out problems and decisions necessary in their schoolwork and this in turn will make them feel inferior to their peers. It will also make them feel they are incapable of learning and put a damper on learning and school life. No one enjoys failing exams and falling behind the class.
Not eating breakfast
Many tests have been conducted on the importance of having a good breakfast before school. The research shows that if children eat a good breakfast they do perform better than children who do not.
Failing a grade
Some children flourish when they are kept back a grade because now they can actually catch up and understand the work they did not learn the first time around. However, there is another group of children who feel self conscious about failing a grade. They know they are older than the students in their current class. They are no longer in class with their friends who have gone on to a higher grade. They tend to lose many of their former friends who no longer associate with them nor invite them to be part of the “old gang.” These children feel rejected and may or may not bond with the new group of children in their classrooms.
They may not like their classmates
Whether a child has repeated a grade or not, children may not like their schoolmates and want to avoid seeing them.
They may not like their teachers
Children will not bond with every teacher and that is a fact of life. They might dislike a teacher so much that they do not want to go to school and have to face that teacher everyday. It is not to say that all teachers are bad; however, something has gone wrong with the relationship between the child and his or her teacher. Parents and teachers will need to sit down and discuss the dynamics that are going on in the classroom to see exactly where the problems lie and what can be done about it.
Schoolwork is too easy or too hard
Children who are having problems keeping up in the classroom will tend to dislike school. On the other hand, kids who are extremely bright and well ahead of the grade curriculum may become bored and lose interest and motivation.
Sometimes a child is being teased or worst still hit by a bully. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. A teacher can be a psychological bully berating the child in the schoolroom in front of others, or the bullies could be the peer group who is laughing or teasing the child. It could be one schoolyard bully who steals the child’s lunch money, or new sneakers, or punches him or her in the stomach. Either way, these bullies are psychologically devastating and some children are terrified of them.
With the age of the computer online bullying has become a common treat in a child’s life. These bullies may be from the school or may threaten to come to the school to further taunt the child.
The child might be considered a social misfit by his or her peers and completely ostracized by them. Since social relationships are so important during elementary and high school, feeling totally isolated has a profound psychological affect upon children of any age. Some children are not invited into social groups while others do not feel comfortable joining any. Many students will watch the activities going on at recess or lunchtime from a far wishing they were part of the school life and just do not know how to be. Obese children or children with some kind of handicap are often among the kids that are left out.
Lack of freedom
Some children do lack discipline and find school too confining with too many rules. Other children with developmental problems or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder may find it very difficult to stay in one place for so long.
How Parents can help their children who dislike school
If your child admits to you that he or she does not like school. You need to sit down with your child and have a conversation.
Do not judge the child
Ask your child why he or she does not like school. If you take an air of indifference, or if you chastise your child or berate your child in anyway chances are the child will not open up to you and let you know what the problem is. You really need to get to the bottom of the issue to help solve the problem.
- Be sympathetic and express how you understand how important this issue can be.
- Give helpful ways of solving the problem
- Instead of saying you should know better than that, or you should never have done that, try a general approach and say some children find it helpful when they…. This approach will take the judgment out of the child’s reasons for not liking school
If your child does not let you know what the problem is,
Contact the school and find out from the teacher if anything is going on that you don’t know about.
If your child is sick and wants to stay home way to often
contact the school again to find out what is happening and set up a medical appointment as well.
Don’t forget to network, often times the child’s friends or parents of the child’s friends can fill you in on happenings in the school directly or indirectly affecting your child.